hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
