Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize