I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the day after is always just damage control
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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