well I can't set my house on fire every night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
is it fun? or sober?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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