Your face is a jimmy john
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
only if we run a train.
done.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
