My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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