Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
