I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
