I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
