Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if only i could text you this smell
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
