I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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