i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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