I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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