I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
