Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
