i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm going to jail i love you
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
