Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
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Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize