I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
