dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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