Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
