I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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