well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
