If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize