He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
