There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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