What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
