Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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