marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
