Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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