Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize