Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
