dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
