butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Girls should come with a carfax report
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
