to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
