I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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