how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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