so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
