The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
