LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
