dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
