there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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