I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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