I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
