The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
