that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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