And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
