I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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