Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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