Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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