I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
