dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am available for nakedness
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
