I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I love you.
Bad choice
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
