does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
