how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
