do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
