That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
