Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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