Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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