Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
