you're like a bully in the Christmas story
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
