halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
