you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize